Question: Is Kelly a superhero?
Answer: No, citizen. Kelly is just very helpful and can lift automobiles with his mind.

Question: What’s next for Kelly?
Answer: Currently Kelly is working on revising the Bible so that not so many people are disappointed by the ending.

Question: Are Pyranha kayaks the best kayaking in the world?
Answer: Yes! And, frankly, I am shocked that you would have the gall to ask…and a bit nauseous but that might be from lunch.

Question: As one of the greatest kayak instructors of modern time, can Kelly teach a blind person to see?
Answer: No, but he can teach that person how to smell depth, color, and emotion thus making that person into a super human crime fighter.

Question: Can Kelly make it rain?
Answer: Only if the Sun has it coming.

Question: Will I ever be a better paddler than Kelly?
Answer: It’s fairly easy to become a better paddler than Kelly but to admit to it would make you sexually dysfunctional.

Question: Can Kelly cure my sexual dysfunction?
Answer: Yes, but you would have to admit that he is a better paddler than you…and make him a pie.

Question: Are the movies, “Pulp Fiction”, “Braveheart”, and “True Grit” as well as 9 episodes of “Degrassi Junior High” based on the life and times of Kelly?
Answer: Yes, as well as the third season of “Little House”.

Question: I hear tell that Kelly once shot a man just for snoring to loud, is that true?
Answer: No, that was John Wesley Harden. Kelly once shot John Wesley Harden for shooting too loud.

Question: Does Kelly Give relationship advice? (From Megan Kress, Duluth, MN)
Answer: Thanks for the question, Megan. I do give relationship advice. I believe you would recognize my work under my pen name, "Dr. Sweet Funky Love". If you are familiar with my teaching you will already know that most relationships can be improved by my 3 step method: 1) Always listen to your partners needs, dreams, desires, and hopes. 2) Don't talk so much. 3) Work that love candy like you goin' off to war, yo!

If you have a question for Kelly Blades, please email him at kellyblades@gmail.com and he will do everything in his humble yet ultimate power to provide clarification.